Faith's Birth Story

Faith Lorraine
Born August 14, 2018 at 2:01pm
21.5in, 8lbs 14oz

It is 2:07pm on Monday, August 13th.  I am supposed to be taking a nap but I am too amped up to rest.  Guarantee I regret this later.

This morning I had a doctor's appointment at 10am.  I knew going in they were going to check the position of the baby because she had been presenting breech and transverse (butt down or lying sideways).  Both presentations are generally automatic c-sections.  I do not want a c-section.

This morning the plan was to reposition her if needed and then induce.  I didn't want to go into it with my hopes up that today was baby day...but lets be real, if there is a chance, my hopes are up.  So the doctor checked her and she was breech.  He performed a version...which means a fairly uncomfortable procedure where he pushes on my stomach to get her to turn.  He successfully got her head down, waited a few minutes and she turned transverse again.  He moved her again to head down and then had me walk down the hall for a non-stress test.  By the time I got there, she was breech again.  Fun.

So, the options are wait to see if she turns on her own before due date, schedule a c-section, or go to the hospital to turn her once again and then break my water and induce me to try to lock her into place.  We're going with the third option and I am to report for induction at 4pm.

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We reported for induction on Monday at 4pm.  The Doctor came in, turned her but could not get my water to break.  We thought this would be a fairly quick process...apparently not.  They had to get me further dilated so he could break my water.  Turned out to be a 12+ hour process.  Lots of waiting, lots of frustration and too many differences in what we were being told.  It was a long night.

Tuesday morning we were told the doctor would be in to see us probably around 7am.  We saw him around 9:30am.  This time when he tried to turn her, she would not budge.  And it HURT.  The other versions weren't comfortable but this one hurt.  Finally he said they were not going to continue to try and that she wasn't going to move.

This meant we had to choose between attempting a breech delivery or a c-section.  I cried...a lot.  This was not the plan and I was not happy with how things were going.  I also felt guilty for 'rushing' the process since we weren't at her due date yet and for putting Aaron and my mom through this long night and frustration.  They, of course, were completely gracious with me and reassuring, but I was missing my babies at home, dealing with mom guilt and afraid of making the wrong choice.

Aaron and I talked it over and decided that the best course of action was a c-section.  He said we shouldn't have named her faith because she was making us prove we have it by nothing going as planned.  Anyway, he was able to talk me down enough to make a logical informed decision so we went ahead and told them we were going to do the c-section.

We were tentatively scheduled for 1pm, which was about two hours away at this point.  I was nervous, there were lots of feelings going on.  It was just difficult.  But when the time came, although I was nervous there was definitely a peace to the whole situation.  We went back, Aaron got on his OR garb, I was taken in to the OR ahead of him.

In the OR they started giving me medicine that rendered my lower body completely numb and unmovable.  I panicked a little.  At one point I had the feeling I couldn't breathe although logically I knew I could.  Another time I felt like I HAD to move my legs and couldn't which was stressing me out.  I also had some weird pain in my shoulders that I couldn't get away from.  The anesthesiologist was awesome and talked me through everything that was going on and helped me relax through it.

The doctor asked me at one point "could you feel that?" and I gasped "DID YOU JUST STAB ME?".  He laughed and informed me that he had pinched me.  I also began frantically searching for my husband at this point and he was there shortly later.

The c-section itself went well.  I was nervous, had the issues above, my upper body started shaking....all temporary but not enjoyable.  Then FINALLY the anesthesiologist said "I see the baby, won't be long."  Aaron was looking deep into my eyes to keep me calm so I appreciated the updates.

There was a lot of tugging and pulling, some medicines to help me calm down, and just a general tension in the room.  And next thing I knew, my baby was out and I could see her.  They quickly cut the cord and I was concerned she wasn't ok because I hadn't heard her cry much at all.  I told Aaron that he needed to tell me she was ok because I knew he wouldn't lie to me.  Shortly after that I was able to hold her on my chest while they finished what they were doing.  Aaron took her for a bit because unfortunately I was still in semi-panic mode and wasn't sure that me holding her was the best idea.  Aaron told me later that while she was in my arms his hand was behind her the whole time in case I couldn't keep hold of her.  He is and will always be my greatest safety net.


FINALLY they finished up and we went to the recovery area.  I got to hold my little girl for what really felt like the first time and although I knew this recovery was going to be much different, I remember being thankful for faith and for Faith.  God had everything the whole time.



We are home now - she is sitting in her little seat while I'm here typing on the couch.  I'm sure I'll remember more details later, but while this postpartum business means I'm an emotional, hormonal wreck, God is good and will carry us all through it!

I also love that for the rest of her life, anytime I introduce her, her name will be a reminder to me...

This is Faith, to trust God
This is Faith, to have the kids He wants us to have
This is Faith, to know they will be provided for
This is Faith, that when everything goes opposite as planned, He is still in control.
This is Faith.