The Ambitious Life

I used to make resolutions - but now I just set goals.  It works better for my life.  I also try to keep them minimal.  It's become popular the last few years to pick a word for the year, so I did that too.  Here goes... My Word:  BOLD (Brave, Fearless, Confident) I feel like this is one of those God things where in conversations with Him I have clearly heard that I am too timid in many cases.  I am confident of the ministry and calling on my life and I don't have to apologize for that.  So I will bodly do the work He has given me to do and not live in fear of what ifs or what could have beens. Goals... To read a minimum of one book a month.  I have a few picked out - Beth Moore's new book, Jen Hatmaker's For the Love and a few others.  I need recommendations for the others.  But I want to read books that will challenge how I think, how I act or how I feel.  Easy readers and fiction are good too, but my goal is for 12 books that will specifically challenge me in

I've been meaning to sit and write this for awhile - mostly because starting in the last couple weeks I've been asked multiple times, randomly, if I was pregnant.  I'm not (at least not that I know of right now).  It makes me laugh though because this is the time of year we usually make our announcements - except for Isaac, little rebel.  One week I missed church because I was sick.  Only one person asked me if I was pregnant...apparently a bunch asked Aaron.  Frankly, this makes me think people are excited about our babies or wanting to giggle at us when we walk away - but I'm going to assume the former. Here is why I write this, and I think I've addressed this before...some answers to common questions we get about our family... ...YES, we know how it happens. ...NO, we are not trying to beat my mother in law or anybody else. ...NO, we are not trying to have a bunch of kids. ...NO, I do not have insane patience...just ask my kids. ...NO, we ABSOLUTELY do

At the end of 2013 my family accepted a ministry position that moved us from our fairly small home into a house at least twice the size of what we were in.  We also gained two live in teenagers and have had at various times anywhere between 1-4 extra people living in our home for months to years at a time.  (See: Harvest House ) I was not a great house cleaner when we lived in a small house and now that we are here I've had to REALLY step up my game to make sure our house is clean.  We like to be 15-20 minutes away from "company ready" at any given time so I try really hard to stay on top of things to meet that goal.  The reason for that goal of course is because we want our house to be comfortable for the people in it, but because we also want to be available for hospitality.  We also never know when someone new will move in so it's nice to be prepared. The trick?  Checklists.  :)  Right, you were expecting something amazing.  I used to have a daily chore chart o

It's been awhile but I miss writing Thankful Thursdays.  So here goes! 1. I'm thankful for homeschooling and the flexibility it gives me to be involved in the kids lives. 2. I'm thankful for some recent conversations with friends giving me permission to "ignore" the kids and let them be creative and explore and play without me. 3. I'm thankful for my husband who listens to my heart and helps me to figure out what is really going on in my head. 4. I am SO thankful for date nights.  I'm glad that this is a priority in our lives.  Last month we didn't have as many due to a lot of things going on, but we still spent time together intentionally and I so appreciate that we have set that as a priority. 5. I am thankful for answered prayer.  I'm always praying that God would be so real in peoples' lives that they can't deny Him and I'm always so thankful when He shows Himself that way in mine. 6. I am thankful seven hours of unrushe

We are almost done with our first quarter of school and I have to say, it is going really well!  I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying doing the lessons and watching Grace grow!  I'd say the same thing about Abi but apparently Grace has replaced me as her teacher :)  Just kidding, I check in with them too and Abi is really working on all the letter names and sounds.  She'll be ready to learn to read next year I think! Grace started off the year using AllInOneHomeschool.com with the Math Mammoth program instead of the one on the website.  Right now we are using "5 Minute Devotionals for Kids" instead of the Bible program and I also added some extra spelling, grammar and English practice worksheets.  Our History and Science is a "group" set up so we have been working through that to whatever level she is able to do.  For the most part she completes all the assignments.  I love my little nerd.  I have had a great time re-learning some of these facts

Laundry is one of those dirty words to most people.  I think the frustration stems from the fact that unless laundry is done while everyone in the house is naked, it is never REALLY finished!  So, since I do laundry full clothed I understand that frustration.  I also have a husband who likes his shirts to not be completely wrinkled so leaving everything in a pile just isn't an option.  (I mean, seriously, when his ONE request is that I at least hang up his shirts when they come out of the dryer you can't really deny that). So on laundry day I make a list (because I like lists).  My laundry & kid laundry are always on the list.  Then I add in the other things that need to get done - towels, sheets, table cloths, the laundry chute, whatever it may be.  Laundry is done on Mondays and Fridays so twice a week everyone has a chance to get everything IN THE BASKET clean.  If it is on the floor it may or may not get washed. On laundry day my best bet is to put all the laundry i

Jake, I love you kid.  You have the best giggle/smile combo around.  I LOVE when you laugh so hard you can't catch your breath.  You live life completely in every moment and feel all sorts of emotions.  You take in everything you see it seems like.  You take awhile to warm up to people but when you do, you are very loyal.  You love going to Grandma and Papa's house and usually tell me "Papa papa papa" all the way there.  You have SO many words and get so excited when I repeat back what you are trying to tell me.  You are very gentle but aren't afraid to shout "mine!" when the situation needs it.  I'm so proud of you!  You, my little man, have figured out that if you push real hard against Levi's bed you can get close enough to the light switch to turn it on.  Stinker.  You know what you want and when you want it.  I pray you use that stubbornness to serve the Lord when you get bigger.  I'm thankful for you little boy.  My Baby "B"

Levi, Please buddy - just stay little!  You my love are a heart breaker with those blue eyes and dimples.  You have such a sweet little smile people let you get away with all sorts of stuff.  You are mischievous and into everything.  You explore and create.  You are obsessed with bags and putting things in and out of them.  You, my little one, if you continue like this will be an innovator.  You won't be afraid to try new things and fear of failure won't stop you - people telling you no won't stop you either ;)  You're a daredevil and love to taunt me from the top of very tall slides.  Fortunately, you haven't gone down by yourself yet but my boy, that day is coming and I hope you fly down it and land on your feet.  You adore your little brother and are so sweet with him.  You give me hugs and kisses every day and are a loving little man.  You LOVE to scream BYE when daddy leaves for the day and you get very excited about bananas.  I love you little boy.  My pra

(Disclaimer: This is slightly melodramatic) Two weeks ago we had a fun week.  Monday was our first meeting of our home school co-op group.  (Read cooperative learning...we each take turns teaching things/caring for kids).  This meant a rushed morning, late nap times and lots of new faces.  Tuesday we did a field trip to Carillon park...which was awesome.  I want to go back without the kids so I can soak more of it up.  It was just really neat and the weather was beautiful.  Wednesday we were home during the day but had a date that night.  Thursday I had scheduled a play date - meaning I took my kids to the park to play with some other kids while I spent some needed time talking to a woman who encourages me to grow my soul.  I needed that soul food.  Friday night, I lost my mind. Seriously.  Ya'll, I spent most of Friday fighting tears.  The kids were acting up, I was lost as how to get them back to normal.  I felt completely spent and ready to just stay in bed for a week.  Then

Grace, Can we just talk for a minute?  Six?  Really?!?  Can you just stay 5?  I can't even handle how fast you are growing up.  You are such a joy!  You are an amazing little girl.  You are smart, you are helpful and you are sweet.  Your favorite things to do are help me and play with your siblings.  You are in first grade and learning a lot.  Right now you love science and history.  We'll see how that goes as you get older (those were mom's two least favorite subjects!).  I'm certain that you will continue to shine.  You are developing an awesome sense of humor and lately you've been saying things "freak you out" which is just hilarious to hear you say!  I am so thankful for this in between stage where you aren't a baby any more, but you aren't too big for mom to hold you.  I love getting to cuddle with you and tell stories.  Don't get too big for me ok?  I love you so much and am crazy proud of you...even if you refuse to stay five for me :

My sweet Abi Ann, You are my sunshine.  You look like sunshine, you smell like sunshine, you are my sunshine.  You are a stubborn little thing who knows exactly what she wants.  You love to do all the things your big sister is doing, but you are also content to be on your own.  You love your brothers with everything in you and play with them with shouts of laughter.  You are loyal, sweet and kind.  You care about other people and want everyone around you to be happy.  You are enjoying preschool and ask me every day if you can do school...and more school...and have pages to color and cut.  (On the days I don't have pages for you to color and cut you generally make me find one.)  Kid - you are fierce.  You are strong willed and tough.  I pray that you will continue to be fierce and strong and tough and that you will use those things to help the people around you and to give glory to God!  I am so thankful for you my lovely princess.  You will always be my sunshine! Love, Mommy

I was thinking about these "how I manage" posts that I really do want to finish writing - but I think the first thing I have to address is how I manage my attitude.  Pretty much everything else stems from how I look at my life, my situation and my to do list in the first place. I used to hate cooking.  And cleaning.  And being organized.  Seriously.  I feel like my poor husband had a wife with a huge learning curve when we got married.  I am a pile maker - meaning I put stuff down in an "organized" pile...and there it sits.  My mom did a great job teaching me to cook but frankly, lack of practice or interest put me a little behind when it came to cooking for my man who is a secret foodie.  I felt overwhelmed, embarrassed and kind of like I was faking this wife / homemaker gig. It really was quite a struggle for me until a couple years ago.  When we moved into Harvest House I realized that if we were going to share our home with other people I HAD to get these th

I was reminded in a sermon on Sunday how much, how often, I need to remember to give God glory.  In the big things, in the little things.  Things that seem easy to brush off are just as easily an opportunity to point to God.  I posted this message on my Facebook that day... "I have been asked so many times in the last few days how I handle being mom to five very little ones. The short answer is, I don't. God does. I am not a naturally patient, even tempered person. I am prone to selfishness and frustration. My organizational skills were not superb and lets face it, cooking is not my strong suit. But God. And that's how I do it" And I mean every word of it.  I can't.  But God.  It is so true. That morning I also posted about how we had found out a year ago about our fifth child.  (I adore him).  But he is our sixth child.  The first we lost very early to miscarriage.  I wear a beautiful necklace many days and each child is represented with a charm carrying thei

I am thankful for... 1. Friends who take time on their day off to play at the park with us.  Seriously the text message of "I have the day off, what is something that is hard for you to do with all the kids that we can go do?" was amazing.  We went and we played hard at the park.  Erica also took a lot of pictures that are too cute!  I can't wait to see them all. 2. Having the Hubs here to help me parent.  When dealing with children's attitude issues sometimes a fresh set of eyes is helpful.  I'm glad I don't have to do this alone. 3. Girls who love to color.  Seriously.  They get up from their naps and color for an hour in my office almost every day.  It's beautiful.  I get more work done and they are happy.  Granted, my office is usually trashed at the end of it, but whatever! :) 4. Home Fellowship Group (aka Bible study).  We've been on break for a little bit but are starting up next week.  I'm excited. 5. Home School.  I am totally ge

Again, I am not an expert...but there are certain things that have worked for me that I'll share here.  Meal planning was a HUGE issue for me when I first was married.  First of all, if I lived by myself I'd probably be a vegetarian for the simple reason that cooking meat stresses me out.  A lot.  I also tend to not think about food until I'm hungry...really really hungry.  I also tend to get super cranky when I'm hungry so lets face it, just not a good combination. Early in marriage I tried a lot of different approaches to meal planning but too many times we'd get to 5pm and I still had no plan.  Plus, going to the store every day or every couple of days turned out to be really expensive.  It just wasn't working.  Then I tried some online programs that provided meal plans and grocery lists.  In theory this would work really well but I wasn't enjoying the meals - they were either too plain or included ingredients I didn't like.  (I'm a little picky

I was told I would never have children without medical help.  I was raised thinking two kids was a good 'normal'.  Hanging out with my husband's family used to be so overwhelming because with 10 kids, there is always a lot going on.  Still, big family life fascinated me so I read blogs and books where moms talked about how they did it all with their large crews.  I watched in awe as they seemed so calm with so much going on around them all the time. In 2009 my body decided to defy science and go ahead and have a baby anyway.  What do those doctors know?  Then while I watched her grow over the next five years, I watched our family grow as well...and we now have five children, five years old and under.  I'm not really sure how that happened (I mean, I know how  it happened).  The math doesn't even seem to make sense even with a set of twins.  But yet, here we are. So that all being said, I'm not an expert as this big family thing.  My oldest is only five an

This has been a hard week.  And it is Tuesday.  For example - today I was thrown up on by little man...while I was on the phone so I couldn't do too much about it quickly.  Then one of the boys who shall remain nameless decided throwing poop was fun.  Compared to some horror stories friends have shared, we got off easy with clean up!  I've had to make some tough decisions, hunt down parts for various broken machines, try to get a repairman over here, and fill out paperwork while holding a sad toddler. End of the day, if that's the worse that happens today it's still a pretty good day.  Here is what I'm thankful for... 1. Perspective.  In my old age I've gotten better at saying "this is not worth getting worked up about".  I don't do it perfectly but it is nice to sometimes be able to take a step back. 2. Workouts!  I got up early this morning and did a workout video in my office.  HIIT - for beginners.  I am not entirely sure I even have abs

I'm good thanks for asking.  It seems like after a new baby I get asked that a lot.  Most days I'm great.  I'm a little sleepy on nights when the wee one doesn't want to sleep after his second bottle.  But yes, at 6 weeks he is generally only waking up for two bottles a night so I have little room to complain.  (With the twins at this point I think I was still prepping 8-10 bottles PER NIGHT for them.) I am finding that adjusting to baby #5 isn't nearly as difficult as it might sound at first pass.  (And again, please remember I have easy babies.  They sleep well and aren't super cranky.  I am NOT supermom.)  He is a delightful little one and I'm excited for him to be a bit more interactive, but at this point he is a good cuddle-er.  What I have to remember though is that even though he is delightful to cuddle (and needs it a lot for comfort as all newborns do) he cannot take all of my "touch time" in a day.  You know that point when you just wan

This has been quite the week - although I think I say that every week.  :)  Here is what I'm thankful for... 1. Last Friday we had well baby / well child appointments.  The doctor's office has a 2 people per family, per day policy.  I snuck in 4 kids...at the same time...on the same day.  Oops.  They might check their scheduling a little better next time around lol.  It went well.  Grace has great hearing and vision.  She and the twins apparently have allergies.  J gets to get retested for some allergies, oh the fun. 2. I've been thinking about big families and I think I've been coming across as belligerent in my thought process. I really don't want to pick fights and most of the time when people say inappropriate things I just smile and walk away.  Most of what I type out is what I think I want to say.  Now if I can just balance the two and honor Jesus we'll be all set. 3. I'm thankful for "you're super mom" comments.  Not because I dese

This has been a long week it feels like.  Not sure why - might just be the two weeks into a new baby tired but it's been a little nuts around here.  I'm so thankful for all my little people though - even when my patience level doesn't reflect it.  :) I'm thankful for... 1. ...not gaining a ton of weight.  I know, this is pretty shallow but I really struggle with not packing on the pounds post baby.  I mean, with the girls I used "I'm breastfeeding" as an excuse and with the twins it was "I HAVE TWINS.".  This time around I have been trying to be VERY aware of what I've been eating and I'm hoping my weight reflects that.  I am also super pumped to start running here in a few weeks.  I just have to figure out how I'm going to make that happen! 2. ...an 'easy' adjustment. It really hasn't been too crazy adjusting to this little guy.  With Grace going from no kids to a kid was a game changer.  With Abi it was how do I k

Oh the things to be thankful for this week!  Last week I was writing from a hospital room.  This week I'm home surrounded by noise and my beautiful little people. Definitely quieter last week.  Definitely more fun this week :) 1. I am still so thankful for my doctors and team of people who made sure Isaac and I were taken care of.  Again, that was probably my hardest birth but I am so thankful for those that helped us through.  And of course for all the people who took care of my people while I was there. 2. I am thankful for my momma who has come by to help with the kids, make sure they are getting enough attention and help take care of me and the house. 3. I am thankful for my little man who is so far an awesome sleeper! 4. I am thankful for little moments where JJ sings and Levi dances and grins wildly while looking at me for approval and to see my joy.  I can't wait to see who they will be when they grow up! 5. I am thankful for the girls and their helpful attitu

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am busy on Wednesday nights.  Short of an emergency, I am unavailable.  Why?  Because it is date night.  I protect date night with the same fierceness I protect my children - because it is important. Aaron and I were talking about date night recently and I was trying to think of why it is so important to me.  I mean, sure, it's adult conversation.  It is time with the man I love.  It is a time to think and focus and plan and dream together uninterrupted.  But I think the kicker for me is that it is time to be a wife.  Just a wife.  I have no mom duties on this night (other than leaving my cell phone on for emergencies).  I can focus on my man and his dreams.  I can be the helper I was created to be.  I can speak life to my husband.  I can HEAR him without distractions.  I get to be a wife and only a wife for a few hours and it is glorious. We are headed out tonight and leaving all five kids in my parents' capable hands and I get to be

Today feel almost normal.  We have already eaten breakfast, done our school work, started on chores.  Isaac is sleeping peacefully in the swing, the boys are fussing at me from the TV room and the girls are on their hundredth Easter egg hunt. Here is the key: I have EASY babies.  My babies tend to sleep well.  They tend to eat and go right back to sleep at night.  Once they are a few days old they tend to sleep well by themselves (meaning in their own beds, not on my chest).  If I had difficult babies, if they were colicky or not getting enough to eat or there were any complications, my life would not be back to "normal" at this point. Normal is relative though.  I have no plans to leave the house ever because with 5 littles it's just too hard in this newborn stage.  I also have a double stroller but no idea how I'd manage to get all three who can't be trusted to walk anywhere at this point.  I do have a baby carrier but I'm not practiced enough with that

What a week. This has been a long but good one. I am thankful for... 1. God. Taking care of me. Trusting me with 5 beautiful babies. Loving me always. 2. My family. Seriously knowing I can call my parents anytime for help is amazing. My mom hanging with me and Aaron at the hospital all day and doing whatever she can to make things easier.  Aaron's family calling, offering to help with kids and stopping by...we are loved. 3. Friends. I have had so many visitors. Sweet thoughtful gifts. People far away offering to send pizza to the house where our kids were all day while we were at the hospital. Care packages. Taking on 9 kids for what was at least 9 hours. Love. 4. My husband who is my rock in child birth. 5. The doctors and nurses who helped me through this one. 6. My MoMs who are so supportive and encouraging!! 7. My sweet, calm little man. 8. Have I said my people yet because man, have they all come through for me in all this! 9. Grace for myself in hard life

Isaac Louis, 7lb 15oz; 21.5in Born at 3:06pm on March 31, 2015 40 +3 On March 30th I went to bed really hoping that Isaac would choose to be born soon.  I really was having a hard time being patient with God's timing even though I knew that was best. At 3:15am I got up to use the restroom and my water broke. I waited a bit to make sure that was what was going on then told Aaron we needed to head into the hospital.  Amniotic fluid is usually clear but mine was not so I was a bit concerned. When we got to the hospital they put us in triage, monitored the baby and checked everything out. He had a bowel movement which accounted for the strange color fluid. The nurse assured me while not ideal this was not super uncommon and while he would most likely be absolutely fine, NICU would be present for his birth to make sure he was. The problem was that if he had ingested any if this it could cause an infection so they were on standby to suction him if needed. We were moved t

Hey guys, I just want you to know I love you so much.  And our house is about to get crazy with a new baby so I wanted to take a minute to make sure you knew that I loved you and how crazy I am about each of YOU!  In the next few months I might seem really busy, or tired or cranky...but know I love you and soon we'll be back to normal - whatever that might look like for us. Grace - I am so proud of you kiddo.  You are such an amazing helper for me and I love how you help with chores so willingly and happily.  Today your idea of fun was washing the windows for me.  I pray that your servant spirit continues and that you just bless people by your willingness to love them in practical ways.  You also unloaded the entire dishwasher this morning and got out everything I needed to make breakfast.  Thank you again for helping, but more importantly for reminding me that you are watching - you watch what I do, how I serve and my cheerfulness is also often reflected in your cheerfulnes

This has been a crazy week.  My to do list is usually a challenge but this week it was just mocking me.  And I'm failing at the no sugar thing.  And ya know what, I'm acknowledging it needs to get better but not beating myself up over it.  It is what it is. I'm thankful for... 1. kiddos who play well together. 2. a great routine that we are currently settled into and frankly, I think will still work when this baby boy arrives. 3. long talks with my husband about all sorts of things. 4. the realization that my best might not be good enough for others and there is nothing I can do about that. 5. warmer weather and the phrase "go play outside"  (See also warmer weather and the phrase "you don't need a coat") 6. big kid shoes for my boys.  Between what I found for them in my bins and at the thrift store I have sneakers for them for $1.50.  Can't really beat that. 7. a new budget system (read: challenge accepted) 8. quality time with

Today I considered taking the girls to an art class nearby and then possibly running into Target (running being relative with all 4 kiddos) to buy baby a "coming home" outfit.  I figured he deserves something new for that.  Then I looked up and realized all the hairs that would need done, all the shoes and socks and coats that we would have to dig out and of course the inevitable loading and unloading and reloading and unloading and reloading and unloading of the car.  So we stayed home. The boys colored for the first time.  Jacob couldn't decide if the crayons were better for drawing or drumming.  Levi just wanted to hold them all.  He made a few dots on the paper but wasn't super interested.  I think only two large bites of crayons were taken and maybe a few nibbles here and there. Then we got out the play-dough and squished and smushed it for a bit.  I think no play-dough was eaten today :)  I don't love messes or the big production it takes for these thing

I realize I'm a couple days late.  We have been sick again here so doing my best to stay on top of things and stay rested.  :) 1. I am thankful all the kids are currently healthy again and paying that they stay this way. I don't want to clean any more puke.  Side note: super thankful grace seems to have mastered puking in the toilet :) 2. I am thankful for extra rest this week. I may have taken the two hour nap yesterday. 3. I am thankful for a good doctors appointment yesterday. Baby is head down but it could still be the full 3 weeks or longer until he decides to show up. 4. I am so thankful for friends to take care of me and send me random surprises. 5. I'm thankful for a break from teaching Sunday school. I love it, but my body is ready to rest. 6. I'm thankful for playdough and coloring time with all of my kids today. 7. I am thankful for time out last night and random errands to run. 8. I am thankful for playdough, crayons and oth

I am officially less than four weeks from my due date.  Isaac has given no indication he would like to come early so I'm going with six weeks still and an April birthday just so I don't get too anxious as the due date approaches.  They are just guesses anyway :)  I have my hospital bag started and of course because I was working on mine the girls both packed overnight bags for themselves so that they'd be ready if they need to be when it was time.  We'll see.  I think I get more stressed about calling people in to help with the kiddos than I do going to have a baby :)  Ah well, since I don't know when he is coming, there is only so much prep work I can do.  Our pack and play is ready for him and the clothes are out and ready.  I do need to go buy diapers and formula and some of those basic supplies.  I'll get there one of these days :)  In the meantime I need to buy the twins and Abi diapers because yes, I'll have four in diapers at least until Abi potty t

Life does not slow down.  Ever.  I think as we get older it just goes faster.  Ah well.  Last Thursday I was busy packing and scrubbing my house since my parents were going to stay here while I spent the weekend in Nashville with the hubs.  It was Awesome.  I'm thankful we had time away because it is just going to keep getting crazier.  Today I packed my hospital bag basics and had the girls pack overnight bags just in case.  Seems early and Abi was VERY disappointed to find out he was not going to be here RIGHT NOW...we talked about how babies decide when to arrive a bit...but she was still not impressed.  Ah well :) 1. I'm thankful for last weekend's getaway.  We hardly ever go anywhere overnight by ourselves and it was nice just to relax and enjoy each other's company and not have a schedule to be on (other than once concert we had tickets for). 2. I am thankful for 36 weeks of uneventful pregnancy.  I go to the doctor tomorrow morning and then am on every week a

This week...oh, this week.  We have spent most of our days on the couch trying to kick this germ that has infested bodies.  Fortunately other than a sore throat and a bit of a cough, I'm doing alright which allows me to care for everyone else better.  The downside is all these poor little people want to be cuddle (and cough in my face) and there is only so much lap left at this point.  Fortunately as they are getting better they want to get up and run so they are taking turns pretty well :) Things I'm thankful for... 1. That my refining process isn't done yet.  Oh my, I love where I'm at compared to where I've been but I want to see where I'm going.  I just hate some of my attitudes and initial responses and I'm hoping those continue to be refined. 2. I am thankful for the doctors taking JJ's sickness seriously, telling me I've done the right things and working on getting this under control.  I am an under-reacting mom, I will own that but I am

Today i sit on the floor of the living room, typing on a keyboard and watching it show up on my phone.  I'm wishing i could lay on my stomach to type because wouldn't that be easier, but wouldn't that also mean this baby had arrived and then who has time for writing any way. I told my mom i was feeling sentimental about my kids.  She said that she could tell from the pictures i'd been posting.  I feel like i have been doing so much better savoring the moments...and when they are all sick and cuddly that forces a slow down.  But i love Levi's little dimples, J's hilarious expressions, Abi's random thoughts and Grace's thoughtful "I have two things to ask you.  First of all..." Will I grow tired of that?  Is there a certain number of children a heart can handle until it becomes too full and there isn't more room for memories and attention spans and distractions?  Is there a time when instead of feeling like a blessing with a touch of over

I started writing this last week but never had time to read it again to make sure it didn't say anything crazy....so here you go.  (Side note: this week has been SO much better...amazing what a refocus can do) This has been a HARD week.  Hard.  Ya know, like when you just can't get ahead and you have to have a root canal and everything seems like SUCH a big deal.  Yeah, one of those. Last week I messaged a couple friends that I needed help.  The hours between naps and bedtime were killing me.  I was exhausted and the kids were full of energy.  I don't want to be a passive mom, but I honestly just can't fully engage when I'm that worn out either.  So I asked them, HOW DO I MAKE IT? Here is what I'm doing this week... First of all, we are back in routine.  No spending the night at Grandma's, no last minute root canals, frankly - no leaving the house if I can help it.  Second, I started turning the heat down to 63 at nap time and night time.  I love it..

I missed a week.  And while I knew about it and I was bummed about it, I've given myself the grace to move on with my life.  Thank you for understanding :)  I feel like I'm finally in that season of life where if I fall short of my own goals, I can be ok with that.  I'm not saying I don't try and I don't do my best but I'm not going to hold myself to some arbitrary standard and beat myself up for it.  Life is too short for that. This week I'm thankful for... 1. My husband.  He is one of those guys who I fell in love with and have fallen more in love with since then.  For our anniversary he bought me a glider (like a rocking chair but way better for those that are not familiar) and roses.  He knows what delights my heart and I appreciate that so much about him.  He also came home today with two dressers for the boys room and a baby swing because he knew they were on my list of 'needs'.  I'm thankful for the way he takes care of us and provides