Glory

I was reminded in a sermon on Sunday how much, how often, I need to remember to give God glory.  In the big things, in the little things.  Things that seem easy to brush off are just as easily an opportunity to point to God.  I posted this message on my Facebook that day...

"I have been asked so many times in the last few days how I handle being mom to five very little ones. The short answer is, I don't. God does. I am not a naturally patient, even tempered person. I am prone to selfishness and frustration. My organizational skills were not superb and lets face it, cooking is not my strong suit. But God. And that's how I do it"

And I mean every word of it.  I can't.  But God.  It is so true. That morning I also posted about how we had found out a year ago about our fifth child.  (I adore him).  But he is our sixth child.  The first we lost very early to miscarriage.  I wear a beautiful necklace many days and each child is represented with a charm carrying their first initial.  G, A, L, J, I dance together as I go throughout my day.  It also has the March birthstone which is there for more than just looks - our first baby would have had a March birthday.

I am a momma with 5 children in my arms and one that is known only in my heart.  But God. That was truly a horrible experience.  I had been told before I was married that I would never have kids without medical help. (But God!)  Then we conceived and were so over joyed.  And then at an ultrasound which would have been 7 years ago earlier this month, we found out that the baby's heartbeat wasn't strong enough and at the next ultrasound found it had stopped.  I think mine did too for a minute.  But God.

So I did what made the most sense.  I told the Doctors to stay away from me and waited.  I yelled at God and told Him it wasn't fair and that I didn't need this.  HOW DARE HE.  But God.  Eventually I broke.  I called a friend one night and got it all out.  How I really felt about the whole thing and why it wasn't fair.  And in that moment I had a choice to make.  I wanted to run away from faith because God hadn't saved this baby's life.  But God.

Because of that my faith is stronger.  I decided that I could be mad at God forever or I could take Him at His word.  I studied His character so I could speak truth to other people who were hurting.  And thank God that is how it turned out.  If I could even begin to count the people I know who have gone through similar circumstances since that day it would pain my heart.  But I could honestly say I knew how they felt and that it would be ok.  But God.

It gave me a chance to tell people who were hurting from other circumstances more than the canned answers.  But God.  It made me sensitive to hurtful things that people say in bad situations, even if their intentions are good.  But God.   Most of all, it gave me truths that I go back to over and over to remind myself who God is and how He sees me.

And in all that, if I can't give Him glory.  What's the point.  He is so good.  I am simply me.  But God.

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